Awww, Shit Yeah!

•January 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Soul FoodDamn it to hell. Let me tell ya’ll something. My girl, a white woman, cooked me some damn soul food for our first dinner this new year’s day. That is some shit. Instead of fried chicken we had ribs and that shit was damn good. She can beat me, ignore me, stomp me. Just as long as she keeps cooking like that, I don’t give a mothafuck’n damn. My baby is the shit. Fuck all ya’ll. She hid this shit from me. Five years and I never knew. My belly is full on good food. My cup overflowth with good beer. I’m about to kick her ass in spades. And pray to the porcelain Goddess later on. Happy Fuck’n New Year Mother Fakahs!

Another Freak’n Year

•January 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Here we go Another year has come and shit ain’t change. Same shit, new year. But, you can be a different you. “Really, how so?” you ask. Well, the first thing you need to do is do the opposite of what everyone else does. Here’s an example. If you feel the need to have a New Year’s resolution (dummy) then fill it with things you 1. Like to do and 2. You already do. See, that’s easy, is it not? Here is mine for example:

  1. Drink more Guinness

  2. Smoke more trees (explore more flavors and not limit myself)

  3. Instead of 2 days a week, have a bubble bath 3 days a week

  4. Visit only friends with Playstations and Xboxes

  5. Curse more

You get my point. Increasing or improving things I already do. These items on my resolution can never be broken. So what are you going to put on your list?

Sunday Evening Thoughts

•December 28, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I am watching Escape to Witch Mountain. I remember this movie when I was a kid but I don’t remember a lot of it. I think that was around the time my family went all Jehovah Witnesses and shit. Remember when they got their heads cut off??? Of course I’m waiting to see it happen. We have both parts and I’m watching the first part to work myself up the decapitation. (Big grin goes here.) Ooooo! My baby made some damn good spaghetti. I am so ready for another bowl. Anyone ever noticed the wig on that social worker lady in the movie? It looked so soft and fluffy like a cloud. I would like to sit on top of it.

I finally had my Guinness today. I have never been so happy. Awesome way to continue to enjoy my holiday. Ok, I just went blank. Fantasying about this wonderful beverage of ecstacy. The only head I would ever appreciate. If a space ship flew to earth and landed in front of my house and little green people came out and said to me, ” stuck in 70’s or adult life and Guinness?”; I would always chose Guinness. But then I would also try to work it out to catch a ride with them back home. Hell, they may like Guinness. We can all chill on the ship and drink Guinness. Oh that would rock!

Rest in Peace Cat Woman

•December 26, 2008 • Leave a Comment
Eartha Kitt as Cat Woman

Eartha Kitt as Cat Woman

Eartha Kitt. Essence of sexiness hangs up her cat outfit for eternal rest. I do not know much about the actress, singer and sex symbol. I do know that she entranced me with her sultry, purring voice. She exhibited sexy blackness on TV shows and movies, on stages, and in the company of prominent people. And she made me laugh with an uneasy queasiness in Boomerang with Eddie Murphy.  Her role in the movie as an old lady sexiness was hilarious, sarcastic, and weird.  She was consistent through out her career.  Everyone knew who she was and the roles she played.  She commanded sexual attention from both males and females. You either wanted to be her or do her. But what hit my heart (yes, I think I have one) the most was the fact this woman was the original singer of “Baby its cold outside”. I love that freaking song.  I will continue to hum it and think of her singing it to me in her cat woman outfit and enjoy my sensual chills. I love you cat lady. Rest in peace.

The Gift

•December 25, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I got it. I finally got my R2-D2. My girlfriend fucking rocks, man. The world is now a better place. I am at peace.

Why am I here?

•December 24, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Still at work. I rather be home getting drunk off of eggnog and watching “A Christmas Story”. Who’s with me?

I wanna be like Santa

I wanna be like Santa

Urgh!!!!

•December 24, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I’m slowly suffocating in cubeworld on this holiday eve. When will this day end???